Disappointed

Went to the X'mas party at fringe office today. Just feel wiered 'cause I had a feeling that I don't fit there and they don't look high on me. Maybe it's me look too high on this situation. But I felt I lost something because of myself. I felt the bridge 8 isn't satisfied if I am the one Vivien recommends.

At first, Flora talked to me. When I said something of job, future, she said you should ask Vivien...I don't know. Bad feeling. Then, I talked to Vivien for a while, at last, she showed me the leaflet of some programs of Fringe Shanghai presenting to HK Fringe. Oh my god, I'm not that idle, mam!!

Heard from Afra that Vivien didn't find sposnorship for the pop concert successfully. Clearing my mind, I did know her well already. I should never take her words seriously.

Another situation is that the company which my uncle recommends to me is in a cold situation as the legal man of the investment party did something breaking the law. Though the company is run by a business consulting ltd., it's still unclear to me. No one wants to work for a company linking to candals. It's more impossible to apply after knowing this kind of thing.

So where is my position?
I don't want to be that one works tiredly just little amount of money hardly covering the living expense and under others prestige. Even I know there is no money I can earn.

I don't regret the choice made in 2006 but it seems now that comparing to friends my choice is poor enough ----no pay, hard work. Shit!!!!!